Competitive salary: We pay less than our competitors.
Join our fast-paced company: We have no time to train you.
Casual work atmosphere: We don't pay enough to expect you to dress up.
Must be deadline-oriented: You'll be six months behind schedule on your first day.
Some overtime required: Some overtime each night and each weekend.
Duties will vary: Anyone in the office can boss you around.
Must have an eye for detail: We have no quality control.
Career-minded: Female applicants must be childless (and stay that way).
Apply in person: If you're old, fat or ugly, you'll be told the position has been filled.
No phonecalls please: We've filled the job, our call for resumes is just a legal formality.
Seeking candidates with a variety of work experiences: You'll need it to replace three people who just left.
Problem-solving skills a must: You're walking into a company in perpetual chaos.
Requires team leadership skills: You'll have the responsibilities of a manager without the pay or respect.
Good communications skills: Management communicates, you listen, figure out what they want and do it.