Den sista kontroversiella litteraturen i vår tid: Den usla ordvitsen!

-Varför kom de vise männen till Betlehem ? 
-De ordinarie kunde inte komma! 


- Vart tvättar Saddam Hussein sig? 
- I rak vatten. 


-Vilket är det mest musikaliska bäret? - Körsbäret 


-Vet du hur man ser att någon fått en spark där bak? 
-Medarna sticker ut 


-Hur ser man att en bil är från Turkiet? 
-På vindruteturkarna. 


-Hur skördar man i Jämtland ? 
-man använder Storlien.. 


-Hur kom du in på brädgården ? 
-Jag plankade ! 


-Fick du inte jobba kvar i kryddfabriken ? 
-Nej, jag fick sparken för att jag var på kanelen. 


-Grattis alla brandmän ! 
-Det är låg-konjuktur. 


-Efter en stökig afton hemma hos biskopen förklarade han: 
-Efter en sån här skiva måste jag nog byta stift.. 


-Varför är elektriker så bra akrobater? 
-De kan volten så bra! 


-Vår kopiator är musikalisk. 
-Jaså? 
-Jo, jag laddar den med toner 


-Vet du varför brandmän tjänar så dåligt? 
-Nej. 
-De är lågutbildade. 


-En äktenskapsrådgivare är förmodligen förhållandevis 


-Vad blir en hund som sväljer en linjal ? 
-Mätt! 


-Är det sant att din hund kan räkna? 
-Ja, han är väldigt förtjust i matte. 


-Varför fick björnen sova ute hela vintern ? 
-Han hade tappat sitt ID-kort.. 


-Till alla hundars glädje så försvinner fastighetskatten. 


-Vilket djur hatar när man upprepar en takt? - Antilopen 


-Vet du varför alla mammutar dog ut? 
-Nej. 
-Det fanns ju inga papputar. 



- Vad är en död tvilling? 
- Mer lik än den andra! 


-Vet du varför ett hetero-förhållande aldrig håller? 
- Det är bara han som satsar. 


Hur ser man att en bil är från Polen? 
- På-lacken! 

Hur ser man att en bil kommer från Kina? 
- Det är en riktig rishög. 

Hur ser man att en bil kommer från Spanien? 
- Växlingen är Manuel(l). 

Hur ser man att en bil är från Tyskland? 
- Det gör-man inte! 

Hur ser man att en bil är från Jamaica? 
- På reggae-streringsskylten. 

Vilken bil kommer alltid sist? 
- Last-bilen! 

Vilken bil är vanligast bland prostituerade? 
- Ford Escort! 

Hur ser man att en bil tillhör en filosof? 
- Det ser man på bensintanken! 


-END- 


Och där får äntligen läsaren vila 

En pärs säger många, värre än rökning säger andra och då 

OM NÅGONSIN vet man att det är illa tålt! 


Den sista kontroversiella litteraturen: 

Den usla ordvitsen! 

_________________________ 



2014JimBjörklund 

WE HAVE ALL INHERIT A RAW DEAL - Jim Björklund - 2014-11-27

2014-11-27
©JimBjörklund








To wake by force-wet one self down-chew-walk-hate life in 7,5 hours-walk-chew-lay sleep-wakeby 

force-wet one self down-chew-walk-hate life in 7,5 hours-walk-chew-lig-wakeby force-wet one self 

down-chew-walk-hate life in 7,5 hours-walk-chew-lig-wake.....and when to live? one ask and ppl 

starts..."there are some nice shows on TEVE " So they sit up to 11:30 and have even harde to wake 

etc...it MUST be possible to create a better system -NOO IM NOT A 'COMMIE' who were some ppl that 

at least did try....why did THEY miss out....i tell you why....most ppl dont wanna hear this....they kept the 

key feature of the old (our present) and used it  as always 




'so it all  took a krap in the blue cupboard'  

and evryone just gave up....

'there are bake sale on sundays. We are free then.' 

 NO its not okey!

The key component DESTROYING LIFE in all more developed  systems 

yet is the 

NEED TO COMPETE. 

We have kept an ancient power and decision system alive for no good 

reason but to  keep the boys occupied. No, we should let them be who 

they want, beside fans of football jerseys in a special pattern with the 

oh,so important colors. This is a  long gone need to 

drum up war people cause there arent to be such a war again hopefully. 



But i like to watch curling-well do so but we should get rid of it all in
 society and in buisness and MORE 

IMPORTANT in Love!

Ownership is in here somehow but i cant think it all up.

I mean thats the score for today, she/he with the most junk and potentialy junk to be wins.

He won.   hi hi hi hi he ho.




AND, if this work really must be so bad organised, why today the walk 5-2?



Why work for 5 days into selfmutulation to be free just two? 

As you come out of the bath at friday nght its really sunday night and late.

People never get free. And poor people get  even less free cause thay have to

live with the weight knowing this is it.bad food bad roof bad bad bad.



I suggest that we work three days and are free three days. Even as washer of hell

you can stand it three days without turning stiff of suicide and three days is a lot more

than two.

Yes it is, three brisk mornings own by you three nights out if you absolutely must get

pissed and nearly start to cry when you realise the shit of iy all.

And id suggest also that mondays etc of course has theire place but mainly is inadequat.




Further a system wit the three over lapping schemas can be done 



Say you work mon-tue-wed

on the tue       here   a new shift starts 

and another one                and here    grrr likes this.


one - two - three

           one - two - three

                       one - two - three

                                  one - two - three

                                              one - two - three

                                                         one - two - three

And let it go all week round where every one must be replaceable. That is the case anyhow.

But to tame the competitivness are hard, must start with the kids. Its a surviver key to kids in

the 45 000 years or so we walked with the animals feed patterns. Then a party was lime 30-50

people, a small walking village,and the kids was a bunch in and out around the walking,riding, 

rolling.

Kids are to a 100% dependent on the grown ups and evolution wants as many kids to live so

mummy look at me...no mee...now there were many grownups to turn to, but to be left out of

the care then -as today-  was a dire messege with no hope....alas

COMPETITION  IS BORN!  

(On a lighter note, by the same reason something as fused into kids are born. Every kid should

have its share. Fair is born by those darn kids!

Give 11 pieces of candy two 6 year old and say gravely "now share very good" and watch

the world as we know it be born...My guess is that eiter of the kids will stel and then they comes

to you to split the now growing question. Ok, they may have turned to the higher

power already when it was sure the deal was falling, but probably one 6yo took it yomyom

Bohooooaaa from the other kid cause there was VERY important they share.

Anyway, they comes to you, the higher power....hmm....God is a prick if he exists.

Not giving a hoot about us and how we have it and HAVE HAD it even more so.



Either he dont care (thanx a lot)

dont know (fine allknowing deity)

or cant. (impotent)


Of course this can be a local view (local, as on earth) but in any case it look like cat-shit.

Competion then....

There arent no such need in reallity it seem, just stoopid brothers and sisters who cant give it 

up....Mummy mummy look at mee NO LOOK AT MEee...'  


Jesuz with the white congas.

We must rid us from these crazy ways.



Am i wrong, dont think so. And whats the problem with that they usually say, life it self is to compete 

AHA And exactly is that coming along...eh...eh...? No what a big City like The  Human one does primarely 

is TO COOPERATE i cant get stuff together into a loaf of bread etc and now we have come some way in 

that field...couldnt we take down the competition a tad? Thin, what comes out of the olympics? Well, 

you say,, a big party, ppl all over the world watch sports kida old ones but ok...is that it (i asked 

knowingly hi hi) Well a lot of nice buildings and/stop/ most shit never used again,

On the human plane  Olympic games produce 10 000s of LOSERS.

Yes, 150-300 winners but the rest just had a nice flight.This is ok i guess if we want to use means for it 

but on the larger scale, the human race (not homosapiens etc) the race on to our graves could be a little 

less stoopid and cold....i turned into shit doing that eat-work-die for 25+ years.

People never get a chance....no, g'nite and dont let my stupid rants disturb you cause IM disturbed, yes 

thats it HE is a idiot, lets race eachother...first to the bike shed...I WON 



happy you









2014-11-27
©JimBjörklund