ODD SIGNS FROM ENGLAND

Sign in a Laundromat:
AUTOMATIC WASHING MACHINES: PLEASE REMOVE ALL YOUR CLOTHES WHEN THE LIGHT GOES OUT


Sign in a London department store: 
BARGAIN BASEMENT UPSTAIRS


In an office: 
WOULD THE PERSON WHO TOOK THE STEP LADDER YESTERDAY PLEASE BRING IT BACK OR FURTHER STEPS WILL BE TAKEN


Outside a farm: 
HORSE MANURE 50p PER PRE-PACKED BAG 20p DO-IT-YOURSELF


In an office: 
AFTER TEA BREAK STAFF SHOULD EMPTY THE TEAPOT AND STAND UPSIDE DOWN ON THE DRAINING BOARD


On a church door: 
THIS IS THE GATE OF HEAVEN. ENTER YE ALL BY THIS DOOR. (THIS DOOR IS KEPT LOCKED BECAUSE OF THE DRAFT. PLEASE USE SIDE DOOR.)


English sign in a German cafe: 
MOTHERS, PLEASE WASH YOUR HANS BEFORE EATING


Outside a secondhand shop: 
WE EXCHANGE ANYTHING - BICYCLES, WASHING MACHINES ETC. WHY NOT BRING YOUR 
WIFE ALONG AND GET A WONDERFUL BARGAIN?


Sign outside a new town hall which was to be opened by the Prince of Wales: 
THE TOWN HALL IS CLOSED UNTIL OPENING. IT WILL REMAIN CLOSED AFTER BEING OPENED. OPEN TOMORROW.


Outside a photographer's studio: 
OUT TO LUNCH: IF NOT BACK BY FIVE, OUT FOR DINNER ALSO


Seen at the side of a Sussex road: 
SLOW CATTLE CROSSING. NO OVERTAKING FOR THE NEXT 100 YRS.


Outside a disco: 
SMARTS IS THE MOST EXCLUSIVE DISCO IN TOWN. EVERYONE WELCOME


Sign warning of quicksand: 
QUICKSAND. ANY PERSON PASSING THIS POINT WILL BE DROWNED. BY ORDER OF THE DISTRICT COUNCIL.


Notice sent to residents of a Wiltshire parish: 
DUE TO INCREASING PROBLEMS WITH LETTER LOUTS AND VANDALS WE MUST ASK ANYONE WITH RELATIVES BURIED IN THE GRAVEYARD TO DO THEIR BEST TO KEEP THEM IN ORDER


Notice in a dry cleaner's window: 
ANYONE LEAVING THEIR GARMENTS HERE FOR MORE THAN 30 DAYS WILL BE DISPOSED OF


Sign on motorway garage: 
PLEASE DO NOT SMOKE NEAR OUR PETROL PUMPS.YOUR LIFE MAY NOT BE WORTH MUCH BUT OUR PETROL IS


Notice in health food shop window: 
CLOSED DUE TO ILLNESS


Spotted in a safari park: 
ELEPHANTS PLEASE STAY IN YOUR CAR


Seen during a conference: 
FOR ANYONE WHO HAS CHILDREN AND DOESN'T KNOW IT, THERE IS A DAY CARE ON THE FIRST FLOOR


Notice in a field: 
THE FARMER ALLOWS WALKERS TO CROSS THE FIELD FOR FREE, BUT THE BULL CHARGES. RUNNING ACROSS THIS FIELD TAKES A MAN 12 SECONDS, BULL DOES IT IN 10.


Message on a leaflet: 
IF YOU CANNOT READ, THIS LEAFLET WILL TELL YOU HOW TO GET LESSONS


Sign on a repair shop door: 
WE CAN REPAIR ANYTHING. (PLEASE KNOCK HARD ON THE DOOR - THE BELL DOESN'T WORK)


Sign at Norfolk farm gate: 
BEWARE! I SHOOT EVERY TENTH TRESPASSER AND THE NINTH ONE HAS JUST LEFT


Spotted in a toilet in a London office block: 
TOILET OUT OF ORDER. PLEASE USE FLOOR BELOW.

What is Wrong With Our Culture [Alan Watts]

TIME IN THE CENTER OF THE SUN - REMASTERED

VAGELY INTERESTING

***


One can hypnotize a chicken by holding its head against the ground and drawing a line straight outward from its beak.



The Bible does not contain the word bible.



In Nevada, U.S. Route 50 is known as “The Loneliest Road in America.” Because of the barren terrain and low traffic, 
AAA warns its member to stay off the road unless they’re sure of their survival skills.
There are only five towns along the road, and all of them offer “Route 50 Survival Kits.” 


Stop in all five and you’ll get a survival certificate signed by the governor.



Captain Kirk never actually said “Beam me up, Scotty” in any Star Trek episode or movie.



If you want to be really, really alone, head for 48°52.6'S 123°23.6'W in the South Pacific Ocean. 
That’s “Point Nemo,” the point in the ocean farthest from any land. 
You’ll be in the middle of 22,405,411 square kilometers of ocean, an area larger than the entire former Soviet Union.
The point on land farthest from any ocean is at 46°16.8'N 86°40.2'E, outside the Chinese city of Urumqi, 
in the Dzoosotoyn Elisen Desert. It’s 1,645 miles from the nearest coastline.



Emmy Award trophies are made at the maximum-security El Dorado Correctional Facility in Kansas.



Playboy Playmate of the Month modeling payouts:
1959-1960: $500
1961-1965: $1,000
1966-1967: $2,500
1968-1969: $3,000
1970-1977: $5,000
1978-1983: $10,000
1984-1989: $15,000
1990-today: $20,000




The Nike “swoosh” logo was created by Carolyn Davidson, a freelance graphic design student, in 1971.
She was paid $35.



What’s the largest living thing in the world? It depends:

Savannah elephants get up to 26,400 pounds, and of course some land dinosaurs were far larger.
In the ocean, the blue whale can reach 100 feet and weigh 150 tons. It’s thought to be the largest animal that’s ever lived.
There’s a fungus in Oregon’s Malheur National Forest that fills 2,200 acres, but technically it’s not one individual organism.
Likewise, there are some stands of aspens that grow from one gigantic root system. One covers 200 acres and weighs an estimated 6,600 tons.
Australia’s Great Barrier Reef stretches for 2000 kilometers — it’s not a single creature, but it’s certainly the world’s largest “superorganism.”
The overall winning candidate is probably a tree, California’s “General Sherman.” It’s 274 feet tall and 36 feet thick at the base, with a trunk volume of 1,487 cubic meters.
The largest bacterium ever discovered, by the way, is Thiomargarita namibiensis — it grows to 0.75 mm in diameter, which means you can see it with the naked eye. Eww.



In high school, Robin Williams was voted “most likely not to succeed.”